I have become good friends with a certain guy. We have really great in-depth talks about very personal stuff and because of this I know that we both trust each other. Anyway, we’ve known each other about 8 months and it’s always been a friends thing. We flirt a little but not really more than we do with anybody else in the same situation (no groping or accidentally blatantly touching the person in order to elicit/gauge a response). And before you ask there are about 20 reasons why we could never be in a relationship together so the friends thing is perfect.
This guy is pretty cute and I would definitely kiss him if we were at some party drinking a lot and the opportunity presented itself. I’m pretty sure he feels the same based on things that he says/alludes to (about thinking I’m cute, etc). Plus neither of us has been kissed in a while and we’ve even had the discussion about how much that sucks.
So the combination of me being able to trust him, have REAL talks with him (the kind that last 3 hours), us both being un-attached right now, and of finding him fairly attractive makes him a prime candidate for a FWB (Friend With Benefits). Not let me clarify, for me the FWB concept has always been fairly elusive because usually one of 2 things happens:
1) one of the people in the no-strings-attached setup becomes attached and wants it to be more
2) one or both of the people finds someone they actually want to date (as opposed to just hook-up with occasionally) and the “agreement” comes to an end
It has worked for me once and only for about 4 months but it was convenient and comforting and simple (all of the things that FWB is designed to be). In my case, there was no sex but plenty of messing around and lots of fun had by both parties. Also, it ended in a completely mutual way because we both met someone at the same time. Nice, huh?
So, now that I’ve been single for a while and haven’t found any guys I want to go on more than 2 dates with-I’ve decided I’m in the perfect timeframe & mindset for an FWB arrangement. I know that sounds very business-like but truthfully the FWB setup is very business-like, at least in principle. It’s just difficult to find a perfect candidate for the arrangement.
So since I found a prime candidate and I’m ready for this, I have been coming to terms with exactly how I have the conversation with him. Finally I just had a couple drinks at a party and decided to go for it but then there was never a chance for us to talk alone. Flash-forward to last week and he sends me a text message (don’t you love technology these days-we can completely avoid human contact if we want) about how crappy his week has been, how he has to miss a small get-together which I was having at my house that night and how he is in need of one of our getting together to talk nights. A lightbulb flashes in my head about how this is my perfect opportunity so I actually get the guts to write the following message back to him:
I really hope your week gets better. By the way I was thinking that since we usually get together and talk-how about you come over and we don’t talk.
Yes I did actually hit send-although it took me about 30 seconds to get complete control/agreement between my brain and my thumb to hit the “send” button on the phone. So luckily, I had a lot going on that night and I wouldn’t be sitting there agonizing over what he was thinking and more importantly what his response would be.
So in less than half an hour, he sends back a message…wait for it…
My friend, you underestimate my love of talking 
I hope you guys are enjoying this moment (living vicariously through another person’s funny life moments via their blog postings). Anyway, I am now left with 2 choices:
-I can assume that his response means he does not want to make out with me
OR
-I can assume that he really doesn’t get that I meant “messing around” when I said “not talk” as opposed to just chilling and enjoying each other’s company in a platonic way just without talking
I haven’t talked to him since then so I am choosing to gauge his demeanor the next time I see him. Yes I am a bit of a chicken.
